Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
