You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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