D3 body, D1 cock
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm both gender and math confused
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
