she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
