If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
