so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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