he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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