Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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