these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
