Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
