it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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