There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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