he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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