is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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