the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
