I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
