you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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