nut hugger
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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