I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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