drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I still have a little drunk in my system
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
