New invention idea: vibrating tampons
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
