Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
