everyone is single if you try hard enough
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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