question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
