I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
