i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
