i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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