u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
