you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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