Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I love having hate sex.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
