Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
