what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
