And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
