my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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