There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
