How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
