He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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