Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
