She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We left the knife in your bed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
