lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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