The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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