It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
