I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
