Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
