so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
