I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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