I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
