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i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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