So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
