I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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