We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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