I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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